Two letters, one word…NO

I hate the word NO. Honestly, it just seems so negative. Now, I am not saying I am the overly optimistic-always-happy-positive-person. I just don’t like saying NO or turning things down. In undergrad, even if it meant giving up time with friends and family, I always did what I was told and would rarely say no to any opportunity that presented itself.  As a student leader I was always asked to sit on committees, or help an event or just do something outside my assigned roles. And generally, I loved every minute of it. I will not say I was used or manipulated by my mentors or supervisors, but I honestly felt that saying no was a sign of weakness or an inability to handle any extra work. Plus, I felt like I was letting the department down which was never my style.

This year, I have stretched myself pretty thin.  Between my classes, my GA position, and my RD role, I have been back and forth between schools constantly – doing my best not to miss major meetings or events on either campus while still trying to maintain some semblance of a social life outside both positions. It has not been easy – especially with my undergrad mentality of always saying yes to extra responsibilities. I really do love what I do, but more and more I am learning the importance of balance. It is never worth getting sick or killing myself to make sure everything is perfect. I physically cannot be in two places at once. I know I am supposed to “pay my dues” so to speak as a grad student and I am absolutely fine with that – I have learned so much about the field in the past 8 months or so and learned even more about myself. However, if it means sacrificing my health and my sanity, then it’s not likely worth it.  I spent much of last semester just trying to keep my head above water and stay healthy. I was sick in my first semester more often than in my entire four years of undergrad. It was then that I decided that I would start using one little word – NO.

It has made a world of difference this semester. I have balanced my jobs, school work, and personal life much more effectively than last semester and have warded off all signs of sickness (even with the dreaded H1N1 and Norovirus running rampant on campus). I have occasionally missed out on some opportunities as a result, but it has allowed me to be more intentional about the experiences I have as a grad student.  So far, the power of NO has been one of the more important lessons I have learned this year.

The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. – Tony Blair